Due to the independent contract I'd been working out since last summer for this quarter suddenly falling through and me not becoming aware of it until after registration for Winter Quarter, I am an evening and weekend art student this quarter (+ ASL). But it's really exciting, and I now realize that I have missed art. Not that I ever really stopped while I was pursuing other studies, but I stayed mainly in my comfort zone and did not challenge myself very hard. I'm enjoying all my classes, basically, except I'm worried about my creative writing one.
It was basically the only class with room still available that didn't conflict with my other classes, and it sounded kiiiiiind of cool, although honestly, I had no idea what to expect and I'm terribly out of practice. However, since he emphasized "forgo any worry you have about your 'creative abilities'", I decided I might as well go for it. I've been writing less and less over the years, and I want to get back into it.
Unfortunately, I am not yet enjoying myself in that class. Part of it is now that I am immersed in a creative environment, I realize that the rigorous science writing I've been doing for the past few years has totally rewired my brain. Hopefully it isn't actually "rewiring" and is more "suppressing talents". Because--not to toot my own horn--I used to be pretty good at it, for my age at least. I definitely needed critique (or "guidance", or "restraint"), but I was compulsively expressive and it ended up being mostly good stuff.
It used to be the case that whatever I was reading at the time would influence how I wrote, and I would frequently adopt characteristics of the author. Perhaps once I start reading more narratives again rather than non-fiction and science writing, my brain will go "Oh yeah!" I'm sure I've lost a lot of what I used to have, but all I'm hoping for is at least a good starting point. Because right now, I got nothin'. I guess I should practice by writing in here more! Yay .... ?!
Other things limiting my enjoyment of the class are my peers. I am trying to be stay open and lighthearted, to have a good time while I'm learning/struggling, but far too many of my peers--NOT ALL OF THEM, for the record, but more than I'd like--are so damn serious, at least towards me. It's probably because I don't qualify to be in their Ostentatious Writers Club.
Why is it that pretentious writers are generally so much worse than other pretentious people, except for maybe Republicans? (Hah :P)
I hope I've just had bad luck with people these first two weeks. We'll see when I have class tomorrow.
